thanks for nothing

there's a pause before

your eyes finally meet mine

and only then

does the finality in them

bear down on me

and the situation ring a bell

in my head

raucous, alarming

and i understand

where this is all going

you clear your throat

speaking words

i expect

but never want to hear

and the coldness

cuts through me

like a Swiss knife

sliding across my wrists

suddenly, slowly

drawing out fresh scarlet

as the pain sears

and i feel both

dead and alive

again